CLIVE DAVIS & CARLOS SANTANA LAUNCH ANTI-PIRACY CAMPAIGN
Music industry legend Clive Davis and guitar hero Carlos Santana teamed up this week in an historic effort to curb piracy. They released a CD not worth stealing…
A couple of days ago I nearly won $140,000. Well, actually $70,000. A very senior major label A&R exec sent me a copy of Santana’s new album, Guitar Heaven: The Greatest Guitar Classics Of All Time. He offered me $5,000 for every track I listened to provided I did so non-stop, at high (though not full) volume, and with absolutely no distractions. Halfway through the CD he offered me double-or-nothing if I could listen to it twice, back-to-back. I instantly demurred, but did attempt to go for the $70K.
Toward the end of track 1, “Whole Lotta Love” with Chris Cornell on vocals, I felt as though I was in a scene from ‘A Clockwork Orange’. At around track 6 (“Back In Black” featuring the rapper Nas on vocals) I could only think of one person: Robert Korman. My dentist. I felt like I was in his chair and he was drilling non-stop into my jaw. The big difference is that at least Rob would have gladly given me nitrous oxide. By the time I had gotten to the middle of track 11, a cover of “Fortunate Son” featuring the overblown Scott Stapp on vocals, I had to throw in the towel.
I won’t go into an extensive critique of the album. After all, I’m really not known as a music critic, but suffice to say it’s hard to ignore the uninspired vocal performances (which you really can’t hear anyway, as Santana’s relentless repetitious and superfluous playing drowns them out), the lame choice of repertoire (“Bang A Gong” was a guitar classic?), and even the K-Tel worthy cheesy cover art. All in all, it is an insult to the senses.
Clive, now 78 years old, is a man of many accomplishments, the most noteworthy being a gargantuan ego of presidential proportion. To help market the CD, the first lucky 250,000 buyers will get an exclusive interview with Clive tucked inside their copies. Perhaps the label should throw in a bottle of ibuprofen instead.
BMG (and later SonyBMG) had tried, on several occasions, to boot Clive out. He’ a notorious pain in the ass, but Clive has always been able to stare them down. He always had the Germans afraid of him. But Clive has now become not just a pain in the ass, but a joke as well. Or at least his projects are. His last record with Harry Connick, Jr (a 21st century Jerry Lewis), sounded like the old Bill Murray/Saturday Night Live parody of a lounge singer.
With Guitar Heaven: The Greatest Guitar Classics Of All Time, Clive has dialed it up to 11 on the volume knob, so to speak. This project embodies all that is wrong with the recording industry today. It defines the total corruption of the artist, the label and the music.
And labels wonder what went wrong.
To make matters worse, Clive has invented a new way for the Grammys to honour him. Clive has always given himself executive producer credit on practically every album he has had anything to do with. But according to the rules, executive producers are not eligible to receive a Grammy, only the actual album producer. So Clive has taken to naming himself album producer (in this case he shares the credit with Carlos Santana) and then lists “tracks produced by….” (fill in the actual producer’s name). This way if the album by some miracle wins a big award, Clive gets to go up and collect his statuette on network television.
I can imagine Clive’s next project may be Billy Joel:
The Piano Man Celebrates The Piano Men. The back cover may look something like this:
“Crocodile Rock” (special guest vocalist Russell Hitchcock of Air Supply)
“I’ll Be Seeing You” (Liberace version special duet with Harry Connick, Jr.)
“Tribute to Brother Ray: Georgia On My Mind” (special duet with Michael Bolton)
“Tiny Dancer” (featuring Kenny G.)
“Piano Man” (featuring special guest Barry Manilow)
“Imagine” (special duet featuring original vocal by John Lennon and track produced by Phil Spector)
Album produced by Clive Davis
Maybe it’s time for Clive to move on to a more appropriate position, like heading Time-Life Records. Guitar Heaven: The Greatest Guitar Classics Of All Time exceeds all boundaries of tastelessness. I can’t help but be reminded of the famous K-Tel parody by the National Lampoon years ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa-50ZYvHPw
It may take quite a while to surpass the crass factor of this project. But then again, Clive is about to release Rod Stewart’s American Songbook Vol. 5 in a few weeks. Another blow against piracy.
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Posted by Wayne Rosso
on Sep 24 2010. Filed under Live Industry.
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Can’t wait to hear it. But if they really pressed 250,000 copies I’ll be waiting for it to hit the 99 cent store. Won’t be long!
I have heard a few tracks and I am going to buy the cd. Wayne rosso must be a worn out ex-hippie that can’t take the high energy. I recommend Kenny G.
WOW- I have the record and I think it is great! It sounds like you don’t like Clive Davis very much. It sound personal. I think that Santana plays his but off and i love the guest vocalists on just about every track. When I see that you don’t like every track it just tells me that you have a bone to pick and that you really did not give this great record a chance. You may not like all of the tracks, but there is something for everyone on this album. Music lovers don’t care about Clive Davis, whatever Grammy he wins or who produces what. We only care that the music moves us and this album moves me. Don’t listen to this jaded review by someone who probably once worked for a record company. Buy this record and just enjoy it for what it is- a great journey!
Thank you for writing this. To me Carlos is a pure and simple music industry whore, and Clive Davis is his pimp . His guitar has reached levels of predictability and laziness that astound me; does he even practice any more? Why bother when you can just play the same lick over and over again. I know, I know: “It’s from the heart, brother?” I don’t hear heart. I just hear music industry whore. Tonight I walked into the room and saw him slumming his way through While My Guitar Gently Weeps, and when this week’s marketing- department-chosen guest vocalist sang, “I don’t know how someone controlled you/They bought and sold you,” I thought, Carlos, why don’t you listen to the lyrics for once?