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Rob Stringer’s Bold Crusade Against Garbage Streaming: A Tale of High Art, Low IQ, and AI Magic

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In a riveting investor presentation, Sony Music CEO Rob Stringer, the master of high-quality content, graced us with his enlightened views on the battle against “the lowest common denominator” content. Apparently, he’s deeply concerned about the flood of trash that’s plaguing the top streaming platforms. Thank God he’s here to save us from being overwhelmed by garbage.

 

But hold on tight, folks, because there’s more excitement to come for Stringer has a brilliant plan! According to Robbie, it’s the extraordinary talents of Sony’s top artists like Harry Styles, Beyonce, SZA, and Miley Cyrus that miraculously attract subscribers to these streaming platforms. Who would’ve thought? Surely, we must protect these gems at all costs! He urged the platforms to regulate the abomination that is “poor quality content” and put an end to streaming fraud. (Translation: Streaming services should only feature Sony artists and banish those dreadfully mundane, trailer park-dwelling, low-life independent artists from their servers. And the fakes, too). Or maybe, just maybe, they could consider adopting new payment models to discourage such rubbish. How reassuring! Where have we heard this before?

But wait, there’s more! The AI topic came up, and Stringer donned his rose-colored glasses, painting a picture of utopia where AI protects Sony’s precious copyrighted material and enhances musicians’ artistry. Hooray for technology! Apparently, they’re in the “early stages” of using AI in the music business. Fascinating, isn’t it? They’re particularly keen on finding tech that can magically discern whether something is their content or not. Genius!

But wait, there’s more!, because the AI saga continues! Brace yourselves for Rob Stringer’s enchanting escapade into the realm of AI, where he dons his trusty rose-colored glasses and unveils a breathtaking utopia. In this mythical land, AI becomes the valiant protector of Sony’s sacred copyrighted material, transforming mediocre musicians into veritable virtuosos. Can I get a resounding “Hooray for technology!”?

Oh, but don’t be too awestruck just yet, because they’re merely dipping their toes into the shallow waters of AI implementation. Yes, you heard that right—these music moguls are still in the “early stages” of embracing AI. How utterly riveting! I can almost hear the applause from the technophiles in the audience.

Now, here’s the real kicker: they’re on a quest to discover the mythical tech that possesses the mystical ability to determine, with unerring accuracy, whether something is their precious content or not. It’s like a modern-day sorcery, folks—a genuine stroke of genius! Who needs to rely on mere human judgment when you can summon the powers of technology to distinguish the worthy from the unworthy? I bow to their unparalleled brilliance!

Obviously, we should be eternally grateful to have Rob Stringer guiding us through this treacherous landscape of low-quality content and AI’s potential. His sharp wit and visionary ideas will surely lead Sony to new heights, protecting the precious gems of the music industry while exploiting every possible commercial opportunity. Bravo, Mr. Stringer, bravo!

Author

  • Wayne Rosso

    Wayne Rosso has worked in music and technology for decades. He has worked with such artists as Aerosmith, Bee Gees, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Public Image LTD., Beach Boys, Phillip Glass, Fleetwood Mac, Rick James, New Kids on the Block, Slash, Evanescence and scores of others.

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